I was just informed that I’ve been saying it wrong. “Two thousand and nine”. It was explained to me that in 1909, they called it “Oh nine”, not “Nineteen hundred and nine”. Whatever. All I know is, the years are flying by…In another year and some odd months I’ll be fifty freaking years old. I don’t know how that can be. I feel like I’m in junior high in so many ways. When I walk into H’s basketball games, as the mom of a new student, I don’t know where to sit. Do I just sit down wherever I feel like it? Do I try to find the other “cool” moms and sit with them? So far, I look for eye contact and a friendly face and gravitate that way. But we don’t have the years of shared history that I did with the moms at H’s old school, so after the pleasantries of, “So, how were your holidays?” or “How was the weekend?”, I usually pretend to be intensely focused on the game. I always thought that when I was a grown-up, I wouldn’t have to worry about this kind of thing. I feel like there’s a neon light over my head, blinking NEW MOM, NEW MOM, NEW MOM….
I’ve been thinking about “Oh Nine”. I usually avoid New Year’s resolutions, because they’re so predictable…Getting organized, losing weight, eating better, etc. I made the same resolution for about eight years in a row before I realized it just will never happen…I have boxes and boxes of old photos in the attic that I’ve been meaning to put in photo albums, but just never do. So I stopped making that resolution. Now I’m spending way too much time scanning them and posting them on facebook.
Speaking of spending way too much time on facebook…I have discovered Scramble and Pathwords-word games on facebook. Now, I’m wasting even more time. Although, in true justification mode, it’s improving my crossword puzzle abilities. But it’s a problem.
Ever since the holidays I have been dragging…really exhausted, more so than usual. It gets even worse at night, after dinner. I can barely hold my head up and have every intention of going to bed early. The only problem is, the computer is in my office, on the way to my bedroom. So I go in to plug in my phone, check email, and before you know it, three or four hours have passed and I’m still up! Last night, J came by around 10:30 and asked me what I was doing. I felt like an alcoholic, hiding my booze, when I explained why I hadn’t gone to bed three hours earlier.
So, this is my resolution. I don’t think I can completely cut it out. But I am going to “schedule” my time playing the games…Bridge Baron, Scramble, Pathwords, and whatever else I discover. No more than one hour a day. I knew I was in trouble last night when my girlfriend and I were chatting on facebook, and I went “offline” so that I could play without having to respond to her chat! So, I’m cutting that out. If I’m online, I’m online. No more hiding. I’m informing my husband, so that I have some level of accountability. If I am exhausted at bedtime, no more playing games. And if you’re my friend on facebook and you see that I’m online…feel free to ask me what I’m doing. I promise to stop playing and talk to you.